Thursday, March 20, 2014

What happens after that? After the Happily Ever After..

A couple of you have asked me to write a post on the day after, in Sasural and while I pointed out I did write about the Next Day I assume you meant how a normal day is after the wedding in your new home. If your living on your own then your normal day would be anything you want it to be, but if you are living with your in-laws then things might not be the same as always.

Nov. 27, 2012
DAY 3 as a Mrs. ( I am still not used to Mrs.)

9:00 am : Oh shit!

I over slept! which is quite obvious since I had been surviving on like 2-3 hours of sleep since the last couple of days.

I rush to take a bath and change into appropriate new bahu clothes.

My New Bahu look = Heavy Saree + Jewelry + Lots of Bangles + Makeup - nosepin

My nose wasn't really happy with my nath, as a result it swelled a tiny bit on the wedding day, so after I took off the nath at night I just couldn't put my nose pin back (too much pain) so I decided to leave it for the night. When I got up the next day getting ready for the games and all I couldn't put it back. My nose-hole had closed :O

The first two days went in a jiffy, what with games and the whole family in the house on Day 1 and then pag phera's on Day 2. btw did I tell you I wore a really nice saree ( my fav.) for pag phera and got all dressed and decked up. The minute I stepped into my home aka maika the first thing my dad did was take one look and tell me "Beta jao change karlo" I ran up to my room and changed into an old pair on denims and t-shirt , from Bahu to Beti in 15 min flat. ( It took me over an hour to get the 'bahu' look on)

you cant see my face but I had loads of makeup on too.

Back to Nov. 27th.

9:30 am : How the hell does this pleat thing work out!!???

9:45 am : Ok I think this is fine, I look good :) , just have to adjust this front pleat to fall straight.

9: 48 am : Shit! why did I touch that @%$#%!@% front pleat, now everything has gone wrong.

9:50 am : I am really late!!

9:55 am : ok I don't care, if I just carry it with attitude I don't think it should be a problem.

10:00 am : Did I have to try the winged eyeliner look today for the first time !! aaahhhhh...

10:05 am : Ok I think both sides match....hmmmm...

10:07 am : No they dont, where is that makeup remover!

10:15 am : Finally I can step out.

So I walk out of the room to see everyone still in pajamas and trackpants and me looking like I am on my way to a wedding in the family. Ofcourse that pisses me off a bit, because I just learnt everyone else plans to be that way all day long, and No I cant get into my comfy pants because I have to sit there looking like a show piece.

Oh and yes here everyone touches the elders feet every single day, unlike my home where its done on festivals only and even then I never had to touch anyones feet coz. I was the 'beti' of the house and betiya pero ko nahi chuti. But now I am a Bahu after the initial irritation I was ok, after all my husband also does the same, so its not like only I have to, everyone does.

I try to make an excuse of why I got up so late " bahut dino say late ho raha tha na, neend he nahi khuli" Nobody seems to be much concerned about it, they were just amazed that I had already taken a bath and was nicely fully dressed.

I try to help in the kitchen, should I make some breakfast? help out? I am told to go sit and relax. The only task I was given was to peel almonds.

Oh and then my father-in-law comes up to me and says I know what you like early in the morning!. I am confused by what that means because even I don't know what I like in the mornings!?

I am presented with a BIG cup of super hot milk with loads of cheennee. My father-in-law explains on how my Dad had told him about this habit of mine.

WHAT habit!?!?? I am sure my dad would have just said it for the sake of making conversation, you know how you don't know what to say and anything comes out of your mouth, somehow my FIL remembered it and took it to be true *facepalm* Ofcourse I had to drink the whole thing while trying to explain that my Dad doesn't know what I eat or drink ever since I turned like 5.

I am not sure if I am 5 in this, but I think I look 5ish

Post breakfast my in-laws got out old photo albums and we looked through those till around lunch.

Now the only thing I dreaded for the initial few weeks was meal times, my in-laws are big foodies. They love food, if you don't know where to find the best samosa/tikki/dosa/dhokla/dahi vada, etc.etc. they know it all every galli-nukka. ( and if your following me on instagram you now know why I have gained so much weight, unlike what my bff think :P ).

What they love more then food is making people eat. My FIL loves to entertain people, to get them to try the best of the best. So the initial few days I avoided sitting anywhere near my FIL, it took me quite some time to learn to say "I am so full" when I really had just eaten like half of what I normally eat, because sure enough my plate was quickly filled up again (!). Well, its there way of loving and lets just say now after a year I can say I am now also a foodie. ( I think.. )

After Lunch we went first to a skin specialist, I got a LOT of pimples of my back because of chocolate waxing and nobody told me! My MUA while doing my makeup on the wedding day asked if I had gotten something done. When I told her about the chocolate wax I could see a look of 'oh-oh' on her face. When I asked whats wrong she said "nothing nothing just a few pimples have come on your back, dont worry the chunni will hide it all" The calm way in which she spoke I felt its ok, little did I know she did not want me to panic.

The Next Day when my MIL asked me if I am allergic to something or the other, I finally looked at my back, sorry I meant, I looked at pimples and saw a little bit of my back. I was covered completely with acne on my back! So much for all that pre-bridal preparation! So Day 3 of my happily married life we went to the hospital and then haat-kay-haat we went to M-Block GK2 to get my nose re-pierced.

Oh btw I was in my total bahu avatar at that point. So first time in my life I went to M-Block wearing a heavy silk saree with gold jewelry, sindoor, full chudiya, mehendi, looooong hair, and a payal that went chan-chan with every step.

To those who don't know, M-Block is a place where you can find even Aunties in shorts. So I was the bhenji of the day :/ and yes people stared...

With cream for my back and my nosepin back in place we went back home, but not before we had gol gappa's at Prince Paan wala.
(yes gol gappa's at a paan shop :P They are good and pretty famous too, and I knew this even before I was a 'foodie' )

My husband took me out for a walk in the evening, infact the first few weeks me and my husband would go out every evening. It was our way of breaking the ice. I had an arranged marriage so we have a lot of dates to catch up to.

The day ended pretty soon and although it wasn't MY home yet, it did and it has become mine.

All you lovely ladies I know you are worried about going into a house which isn't a home for you, and no I will not tell you that it will be comfortable and everything will be great and you would adjust quickly. Maybe you will, maybe you wont.

Its been a year and 4 months since my wedding and there are times when I feel lonely in a room. There were times initially when my husband wasn't home and I felt like I was living with strangers, while that feeling has now gone there are still times I wish that I could share everything, just like I could share everything with my mom and dad.

Its not that my in-laws don't talk or are not friendly or anything, they really are like my parents only (sachi), but sometimes you need a person who knows YOU, from the beginning not someone who has just gotten to know you.

It will take time or maybe it wont take time at all, every girl goes through it differently. Some have the best time of their life while others hate every moment of it. I am happy to say that in-laws are really understanding now days and chances of getting the better ones are WAY more!

It is also super true that if you give respect, you will get respect. If you treat them like your parents they will treat you like their daughter.

You would adjust soon, I am not sure how soon....but you will...

Now I only wish that my tummy would understand that ghar ka khaana also means this ghar ka khaana. My tummy only accepts mom's cooking or my cooking as ghar ka food and nothing else :/ , I wonder how much time that will take...

Are you married? Please share with us if you have adjusted in your home, and how long did it take you? and if you haven't then whats it that you miss the most.

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